May 31, 2017 By Denise Shick
“Fathers should make you feel safe.” – Karen Cushman, The Loud Silence of Francine Green
“It’s time we stand up and demand more of the fathers of this world. It’s time we stop buying into their rationalizations and their sorry explanations. It’s time we give our kids a fighting chance.” – Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
A mother’s job is primarily to nurture and to provide comfort. A father’s job is primarily to provide a safe environment and to cultivate emotional and spiritual wellness in his children.
Too many fathers are failing to fulfill their primary role. As Dan Pearce observed, it’s time to “demand more of the fathers of this world.” Fathers, create an environment that makes your children feel safe and meets their needs. Failure to do so will harm your children, and that failure will flow out and harm others.
I know this to be true from personal experience. My father grew up in a home in which he didn’t feel safe or nurtured. Neither was he comfortable enough with his father (my grandfather) to share the hurt and rejection he experienced. Those insecurities drove him to deny his true identity. He spent much of his life pursuing his dream of becoming a woman, trying to find a place where he felt truly loved and safe.
My father’s insecurities and futile searches not only harmed him but also damaged others. Choosing to ignore his problems for a while rather than face them directly, Dad married and had children. He tried to keep his crossdressing and related behaviors secret. But eventually the secret was too much for him to bear alone, so he confided in me—when I was just nine years old. His behavior harmed me when I was a child because I put my dad’s needs above mine and tried to take care of him. Even before Dad transitioned, I often felt abandoned and unwelcome. But when he left our family to begin that transition, we felt orphaned. It was as if he no longer existed. I tried to pretend it didn’t hurt, but my pretense was futile. I’d lost Dad. Many decades later, I can see more clearly the harm I suffered because of his actions.
Kids are resilient, but parental rejection is devastating to any child. Recently, I visited with a young girl named Joy. She started the conversation by saying, “My dad did what yours did.” The pain in her eyes revealed the harm he had already inflicted on her even more powerfully than her words. Such problems tend to be generational. The abandoned child doesn’t know how to relate, so when he has children, he—literally or emotionally—abandons them.
Someone needs to step in and help to break that cycle. Churches can do that—if they learn how. If you learn to recognize the signs, you might notice some emotionally abandoned kids in your neighborhood—or your church. But you will have to pay attention. As an insecure nine-year-old,
I wasn’t about to announce to my friends or neighbors that my dad secretly wore women’s clothes and makeup.
Those insecure, emotionally abandoned kids need that safe place their fathers have failed to provide. If your church provides that sense of safety and security for them, you have a starting point. You can then begin to invest in those children’s lives.
Once you have begun, offer relational opportunities with the children whose dads have left them to pursue a different identity, such as becoming a woman. Gather the people in your church and ask a few to come forward to be examples of godly fathers; ask them to take some much-needed time to invest in the life of a son or daughter who is suffering alone. Discover what the child likes to do and support that interest, whether it is fishing or attending a car race. You may even have the opportunity to take a little girl to a father-daughter dance.
Does your church have some strong, confident, godly men who can make children feel safe? Are there men who can mentor boys and young men so they can one day make safe homes for their children? Are there godly men who can instill worth in precious little girls who may struggle to embrace their value as a girl?
If you’d like to learn more about how your church can help men become the fathers children need or how mentors can be instrumental in the lives of children, contact us at Help 4 Families.
Denise Shick is the author of My Daddy’s Secret and Understanding Gender Confusion: A Faith Based Perspective.
Many people have been warning for years that the LGBT agenda was an attempt at a raw power grab to strip Christianity from society and force Christians to deny their faith and submit to a sinful agenda on pain of severe legal punishments.
According to a new law passed in Canada, parents who offer any opposition to or criticism of the LGBT agenda will be considered as potential “child abusers” and may have their children taken away by the state:
Ontario’s Kathleen Wynne Liberals have passed what critics describe as “totalitarian” Bill 89 by a vote of 63 to 23 on the last day before Queen’s Park adjourns for the summer.
Pro-family advocates warn Bill 89 gives the state more power to seize children from families that oppose the LGBTQI and gender ideology agenda, and allows government agencies to effectively ban couples who disagree with that agenda from fostering or adopting children.
Bill 89, or the Supporting Children, Youth and Families Act, 2017, repeals and replaces the former Child and Family Services Act that governs child protection services, and adoption and foster care services.
It adds “gender identity” and “gender expression” as factors to be considered “in the best interests of the child.”
At the same time, it deletes the religious faith in which the parents are raising the child as a factor to be considered, and mandates child protection services consider only the child’s own “creed” or “religion” when assessing the best interests of the child.
“With the passage of Bill 89, we’ve entered an era of totalitarian power by the state, such as never witnessed before in Canada’s history,” says Jack Fonseca, senior political strategist for Campaign Life Coalition.
“Make no mistake, Bill 89 is a grave threat to Christians and all people of faith who have children, or who hope to grow their family through adoption.”
“Disappointed as I am with this result, I am not surprised,” commented Tanya Granic Allen, president of Parents As First Educators (PAFE). “The Kathleen Wynne Liberals have for years been pursuing their anti-parent and anti-family agenda and Bill 89 is the latest installment.”
Conservative MPPs present at Queen’s Park for the vote opposed the bill, which was in stark contrast to their position at second reading in March, when 83 of Ontario’s 107 MPPs passed Bill 89 unanimously.
The Conservatives who voted June 1 against Bill 89 included Monte McNaughton, Jeff Yurek, Bob Bailey, Gila Martow, Todd Smith, Michael Harris, and Steve Clark.
PC leader Patrick Brown was not in the house for the vote.
Trillium Party MPP Jack MacLaren also voted against the bill.
A source present at a Tory caucus meeting two weeks ago told LifeSiteNews the Conservative members were swayed by “three or four” MPPs who said they could not in conscience vote for what the source described as a bill that is “fundamentally and morally wrong.”
The PC caucus, now at 28 members, thereupon decided to vote as a block against Bill 89, according to the source.
Fonseca lauded those PC MPPs who “came to their senses, stopped listening to that propagandist for Kathleen Wynne’s policies, and I do mean Patrick Brown, and chose to finally vote against tyranny.”
“And thank God they did, because it serves as a symbol of resistance,” he said.
“CLC had been directly lobbying MPPs to oppose the bill, and we believe that may have been a factor in why the PCs ended up voting en masse against it.”
Parents As First Educators and the Association for Reformed Political Action (ARPA) have also been at the forefront of relentless lobbying against the bill.
But despite these efforts, no Liberal broke ranks to vote on behalf of concerned parents, and a number of NPD MPPs voted for the bill as well.
Bill 89 retains the provision in current law that a child who is suffering or “at risk of suffering” mental or emotional harm and whose parents do not provide “treatment or access to treatment” is in need of protection under the law.
But while the former law said the Children’s Aid Society should take the “least disruptive course of action,” Bill 89 adds “including the provision of prevention services, early intervention services and community support services,” according to an ARPA analysis.
“The implication is that intervention should not be presumed to be more disruptive than non-intervention,” the ARPA report adds.
Statements by Minister of Child and Family Services Michael Coteau clearly signaled the pro-LGBTQ, gender ideology Liberal agenda, critics warned.
Coteau, who introduced the bill, told QP Briefing he sees questioning teenagers’ self-identification as LGBTQI or telling them to change as abuse.
“I would consider that a form of abuse, when a child identifies one way and a caregiver is saying no, you need to do this differently,” he said.
“If it’s abuse, and if it’s within the definition, a child can be removed from that environment and placed into protection where the abuse stops.”
Children’s Aid agencies now have “a type of police power to bust down your door, and seize your biological children if you are known to oppose LGBT ideology and the fraudulent theory of ‘gender identity’, if for instance, some claim is made that your child may be same-sex attracted or confused about their ‘gender,’” according to Fonseca.
“We already see similar tyranny happening in other jurisdictions, such as Norway, where the main child protection service there, Barnevernet, has been involved in numerous high profile seizures of children from traditionally-principled families,” he added.
Fonseca pointed out the Liberal bill gives legal cover for government workers to discriminate against Christians who want to adopt or foster children.
“Even before Bill 89 was passed, but immediately after its introduction in December, I learned of several Christian couples who were turned down for adoption on account of their deeply held religious beliefs about traditional marriage and human sexuality,” he told LifeSiteNews.(source)